Randomness: Robot Style

post from The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! on 07 November 2009 04:28:00 PM. © The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

I Think He Likes You - Mary wasn't completely sure what kind of animal it was, but she was astonished by how quickly it formed an intimate bond with her.

The Spawn of Rosie the Robot

Farming is such a friendless, lonely task.
It’s a robot and women are STILL making the coffee.
Make one whose face looks like melted candle wax and that moonwalks and I think you’ve got something there.
No bumblebees were harmed in the construction of this robot.
Egads! Obamacare leaves you in the hands of robots!
Next stop, firing missiles into Pakistan.
I’d say a robot playing volleyball would qualify as an “unpredictable movement“.

Capitalism Means Never Having to Say You’re Broke

Such an industrious woman. Some panties, some sweat , and Craigslist and you have entrepreneurial spirit galore.
There are only 15? I could find a zillion, no problem.
The gadgets were filled with testosterone, but they didn’t result in men doing housework any more often.
Poo? Yeah, we got an app for that.
The 16 men following Judy down the street misunderstood exactly what Twitter was all about.
Dash Ripcock was announced as the winner on the strength of his acting on Boogie Woogie Bugle Butts of Company B.
This Chablis is an unassuming little wine combining notes of stale beer and moldy Slim Jims with just a hint of tropical flavored Big Gulp at the finish.
Just the thing for a man who’s too stupid to put his pants on right way around.
Personally, I prefer using a ShamWow. They’re made in Germany, so watch out for cheap imitations.

Japan is a Place of Wonder

Just chillin’.
The Japanese are clever people, but perhaps a tad bit too regimented.
The sushi-loving captain of the fishing trawler was injured when his sushi decided to bite back.
Scientists at the University of Tokyo believe they’ve discovered why many Japanese children emerge from childhood with severe psychological damage.
Well, at least it wasn’t a commercial for the Hello Kitty model.

Sexy Is As Sexy Does

Um! Oh yeah baby! I love it when you flutter your wings like that!
Filming for the Chinese version of Three’s Company is set to begin in Chengdu, China soon.
A New Zealand woman is outraged that her husband paid retail.
It turns out that the allergy isn’t nearly as rare as you might think.
Dueling Banjos, from the movie Deliverance, is the official theme song of Craigslist Personals.
When the all-male search team found their nirvana, they curled into fetal positions and wept with joy.
Ever since he started dating Amy, Rob enjoyed mowing the lawn.

People With Too Much Time On Their Hands

And in the name of the father, son, and Ty Pennington…
You just gotta’ love a pirate with a dream…arrrr!
Behold the wonder of people given a video camera and a half hour of cable time at 2 am.
Tales of the telemarketer. Thanks Gregg Robles.
Why? Just because you can never see too much about sumo wrestlers.
Everyone knows that God placed man on Earth less than 5 years ago. Further proof that Creationism is REAL!
Finally, the answer to what the 800 pound gorilla does when he leaves the room.
Recently released records from President Bush’s trip to the last Olympics revealed he has a fetish for lighting farts from female volleyball players.
Jerome’s surgery horror stories seemed to turn off the babes, but he could never understand why.
Allison thought the whole affair was damned inconvenient.
William Shatner, our generation’s most beloved thespian.
OK, here’s what I can never understand - why does he never show up in church?
When Captain Nemo saw the place, he finally understood true love.
Engineers could design these babies, but they couldn’t keep San Francisco’s Bay Bridge from shedding 5000 lbs chunks of metal into rush hour traffic. Go figure.
Is that a pickle in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
Rumors say Joe Jackson filmed the episode and plans to release the movie during the Christmas blockbuster season.
The war in Hotubistan was going worse than the American people knew.
Next week on America’s Funniest Home Videos - mixing baseball bats and pinatas!
I learned everything I know from the Internet.

Prison Overcrowding Caused by Criminal Stupidity

Police reported the bank robber said, “I have hostages! One more move and the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom gets it!”
The Birdman of Timaru proved to the townspeople that birds taste exactly like chicken.