Do you understand radical Islam? Do you know how to protect your children from the commercial sex industry?It's been a very exciting week in the world of demagoguery politics!
First, Mitt Romney released his most dishonest and racist ad ever! Then Tuesday, Values Voter Summit made a big announcement: Nascent vice presidential nominee Rep. Paul Ryan will be joining them in September. Hopefully, he doesn't clam up and get testy when they ask him how much he hates gay people, like he did Meet The Press last February. This is the time to exercise your freedom of speech, Rep. Ryan. Let the vitriol flow!
Perhaps Rep. Ryan will also expand on his plan to segue America into a nation that gives big tax breaks to the very rich and pays for it by cutting food stamps, Medicare, Social Security. You know, as Jesus would do. Or have I confused Ayn Rand with Jesus again?
The Values Voter Summit began in 2006 by a collection of Christian political action groups. This year is sponsored by the Heritage Foundation, Liberty University, Gary Bauer's American Values, and bona fide Southern Poverty Law Center-certified hate groups, including the American Family Association, Liberty Counsel and the Family Research Council.
It's a great way for mostly white, affluent, Christian heterosexuals to network and compare notes for hating on and oppressing gays, poor people, sexually active women, uppity people of color and, of course, any of those dangerous religious whackos that don't worship the baby Jesus like all real Americans do. You can learn new strategies for meddling in other people's lives and imposing your own values and beliefs into their most personal decisions.
So pack your best conspiracy theories, your woeful and willful ignorance of science and history, your persecution and martyr complex, your paranoia, your deeply felt insecurities about your ever-more-tenuous grip on your social and economic supremacy, your unbridled antipathy for your fellow Americans, your racism, misogyny, islamophobia and homophobia and follow me over the fold for your handy guide to the national gathering of some of the most pale but colorful people in American politics.
Oh, and don't forget your Obama Derangement Syndrome. It's all the rage this year.