Cheers and Jeers: Monday

post from Daily Kos on 13 August 2012 08:56:07 AM. © Daily Kos

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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE?

Random Thoughts on Whatsizname

Finally we know what the GOP presidential bumper sticker looks like:

(romney)-RYAN 2012
"Together We Can Build A Medicare-Free Future"

...and it'll make an adorable yard sign, too.

Even Romney's amazing "BE THE FIRST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE TO KNOW!!!" VP-announcement "app" only worked retroactively. It should've just displayed a message that said: "Check twitter from 10 hours ago."

"Battleships are people, my friends.""Is this a real battleship? It looks like one of those battleships that come from 7-11, doesn?t it? Battleships are people, my friends, lemme tell ya! I dodged service on one 'o these things in Nam by bicycling around France in comfortable slacks. And shame on Democrats for exploiting our military for political gain, my friends, I gotta say!"

That solemn music that played over Ryan's entrance was the theme from 'Air Force One,' a movie in which the President of the United States defeats a bunch of terrorists against near-impossible odds. Thanks for reminding America why Barack Obama deserves four more years, Mitt.

There's no ambiguity this time about what the Republican vice presidential pick thinks about the catastrophically dunderheaded Bush Doctrine. (Remember "In what respect, Charlie?") Paul Ryan voted with both hands to preemptively invade Iraq. He would do so again, only next time instead of Cheney, he'll be the one ginning up the false intelligence.

Paul Ryan says that "Our rights come from nature and God, not government." Uh huh. Try and create your own religion that says it's okay to rob banks at tree-branch-point and see how that works out when the cars with the lollipop lights on the roof show up.

"Poverty is up," complained the vice presidential candidate who would never vote for a bill that helps lift people out of poverty.

If you take away the military hardware from a Republican campaign event, what you're left with is basically an Amway convention with slightly less polyester.

I can cite three major slaps in the face to the conservative evangelical community that Paul Ryan committed during his speech: 1) No Rick Warren lapel pin 2) Didn?t blame any natural disasters on gays and feminists. 3) Never said "God Bless America." Not to put too fine a point on it, but I believe I'd like to see that gentleman's birth certificate to make sure it's not all stained with borscht and vodka.

Senior Airman Steve Hanks hoists Ada up in the air after she clamped down on the bite sleeve as part of a working dog demonstration Oct. 20, 2010, at Offutt Air Force Base, Neb. The demonstration was part of a base tour for high school and college students ready to enlist in the Air Force. Airman Hanks is a military working dog handler with the 55th Security Forces Squadron. (U.S. Air Force photo/Josh Plueger).

Biden in training after hearing of
Mitt Romney's VP selectionVice President Biden, sir? Here's one of Paul Ryan's socks. Take a whiff. Now sic 'im!!!!

The south, for all its bluster, got screwed even harder this year. In '08 the GOP team was from a conservative western state and a conservative northern state. This year the GOP team is from two liberal northern states. In 2016 the GOP team may well come straight out of Michael Moore's ass.

Rob Portman and Tim Pawlenty are now available to sing at your wedding?or do odd jobs around your house?or perform puppet shows at your kid's next birthday party?or call Bingo down at the Eagle's lodge?or?anything, really.

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