The Nightowl Newswrap

post from They gave us a republic... - Front Page on 19 April 2012 01:00:00 AM. © They gave us a republic... - Front Page

He's shaking in his boots, we're sure. Guess who the Catholic League is pissed at now, and threatening to "mobilize" a boycott against...go ahead...guess...Oh, allright. We'll tell you...Jon Stewart! What has them so riled up, you ask? They didn't like his "vagina mangers" bit for some reason. Bill Donohue -- a non-vagina-bearing human -- wants an apology, and if he doesn't get it, he will "mobilize Protestants, Jews, Mormons and Muslims to join us in a boycott of his sponsors." So important is it to Donohue to be allowed to control women of all faiths that he says they are prepared to "spend the money it takes to make this a nationwide issue." How do we organize a nation-wide laugh-in?

Ever notice how white guys over 50 are a giant Cult of Victimhood? Ted "hasn't had a hit since the Carter administration" Nugent thinks he's being victimized by those who want him held accountable for his hateful rhetoric at the NRA convention last weekend. He told Tea-N-N "analyst" and hate-radio host Dana Loesch that he is "a black Jew at a Nazi-KKK rally" but he's by-god not giving up because he's right! Also, Liberty! Freedom! Constitution!

So much for being a "nation of laws" that "does the right thing" even when doing the right thing is difficult or uncomfortable. The Supremes handed down a unanimous ruling on Wednesday, crushing the hopes of torture victims who were mistreated outside the United States of ever seeing justice done in civil court -- but don't blame Obama or even Bush -- blame the assholes who wrote it in 1991. The 1994 housecleaning of those worthless jackals really was overdue.

We believe it from Mormon cultists. A management team that was fired by Bain Capital seven months into a five-year employment guarantee is suing, claiming they were fired for not being members of the cult.

File this under "No shit, Sherlock" Now it's official, empirical even -- a study has been conducted that proves what we've been saying all along -- that the Sunday morning public affairs shows vastly favor booking the republican POV over the liberal/Democratic one.

When we really, really, really hate someone, we don't "wish them dead" -- we wish them broke...and this motherfucker needs to wake up destitute and in rags tomorrow morning. GOP assclown Rep. Pat Tiberi thinks it's perfectly fine to cut the taxes of the wealthy and raise them on the poor because poor folks "don't have any skin in the game." (We wish these chickenhawk jerkwads would take that a step farther and put it into practice the next time that someone brings them a splendid war that they want to launch.

You know what we would like to see? Catholic lawmakers denied communion for being selfish jackasses who prey on the poor and favor the rich. You know -- like they do over abortion.

We hammer Priests and Bishops regularly, so it's only fair that we applaud them when they get it right. At least six parishes in Washington state have refused to do the bidding of the Bishops and collect signatures in support of a referendum to overturn the state's new marriage equality law.

Execution works for us - but of course the fucker knows there is no death penalty in Norway. "Anders Behring Breivik has said he should be executed or acquitted for killing 77 people in Norway in July last year in what he said was a battle to defend Europe against mass immigration."

Syria respects a peace plan like repugs respect women. "Syria's foreign minister has pledged to respect UN-Arab League envoy Kofi Annan's peace plan and to co-operate with a UN team sent to monitor a fragile ceasefire between government forces and opposition fighters."

Why is this mass murderer still alive, free and in power? "Zimbabwe's president, Robert Mugabe, has acknowledged the country's history of political violence, calling his nation to move on from the past."

And finally...

No magic, no invisible sky wizards, no pointless prayers - just science. "British scientists have restored the sight of blind mice by transplanting light-sensitive photoreceptor cells into their eyes. The work is a step towards a new treatment for patients with degenerative eye diseases. Scientists at University College London Institute of Ophthalmology injected cells from young healthy mice directly into the retinas of adult mice that had night-blindness. The findings are published in Nature. The cells transplanted were immature rod-photoreceptor cells, which are especially important for seeing in the dark. After four to six weeks up to one in six of the transplanted cells had formed the connections needed to transmit visual information to the brain."